God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Monday, November 11, 2013

I'm awake and it's 10PM!

Okay, I'll be the first to say it so we can just get it out of the way...
I've been a bad blogger.
I've been a lot of those things I swore I would never be. Things like: a mommy too busy for a coffee date with her friends, to blog about life experiences, or one who doesn't take the time to 'smell the roses'.
Honestly honestly honestly I don't mean to.
I've got a few messages about how "Now I'm a mom and too busy" or how I've "crossed to the other side now" or even that "it must be easy to forget the pain". No, no, and no. Shame on you all. I'm sorry, but I just had to say it.
I don't mean to be busy. I don't mean to not be able to keep up on reading other people's blogs or to call and to check in and to send cards and to keep notes... it's just the days blur together and before I know it it's next week again. Every trash day I'm shocked because I swear we just took the trash out, yet there's a mountain there again already, but wasn't it just yesterday? I swear I want to call you and talk to you friend, but we just talked the day before last... or was that two weeks ago?
Mommyhood has been all I dreamed it would be and more. I could literally stare and hold and cuddle on my boy for hours (and I do) and BAM the day is over and it's yet again another day I feel like I've failed in some aspect of my life. I have the best intentions to be the best mom and best wife and best friend and beat daughter and best church-goer and best dressed person in the world, but I feel like every day I can only pick one of those to excel on. And, at the misfortune of everyone around me, Sully has dibs.

However, I am here. I still love you sweet friends, and blog readers, and mom! lol I promise I'm learning every day at how to get better at spinning plates, and I swear I'm getting better at it! I think.
Thank you for your patience and your graciousness.

Also, know the phone works both ways. If you wish I would call, call me! You're not a bother! My phone is on silent and I answer it when I'm able to, and get back to people as quickly as possible. It's nice to know you're thinking of me too. :)

That being said...
Motherhood is amazing. I'm exhausted and giddy and critical and empowered and content all in one sitting. Like I said, the plates are spinning easier and now that I'm not going to bed when my son goes to bed anymore (I am such an old woman)! I promise to stay up later and blog a little more often.

Thanks for understanding.

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