God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Mom Watching and Mind Wandering...

As a nanny, and a friend of many pregnant women, I find myself going a "mom watching" often. I'm sure you can piece together what this is...
Sometimes I see a mother in Walmart loosing her cool and I think of how to allow myself NOT to get to that point. I'm sure it will still happen at least once, but Walter and I tease that this is my "pregnancy stage" of becoming a foster mommy. I can help but find my mind wandering down the road of my future children - biological or not, one that looks like me or any other variety, mine forever... or just mine for a moment.
Sometimes thinking of all the possible children we could have just for a few weeks or months breaks my heart alone. However, at the same time, it's also very encouraging! Yes it will be heartbreaking when they leave our home... but most will remember us! And maybe when they grow up and have children of their own the will remember the young couple that allowed them in their home... where they nay have learned about Jesus, and felt loved and secure... and decide to meet back up with us, or even decide to foster themselves!!! I know it's a stretch, this fantasy of mine, but God does the impossible! Just think of how many grandchildren we will have!!!
Thank you to all the women out there who are mothers of inspiration! Mothers that I look at and feel hope and inspiration. Mothers that I look at and think, "I want to be like that!". Mothers that I get to visit with, and feel no jealously at all- which unfortunately has been rare lately- because they are so full of love for their children that I somehow feel like they deserve them. I know it's not my job to make that judgement, but you have no idea how hard it is longing for something so badly and everywhere you go you see it being misused, badly treated, and taken for granted. While it may not be my job to judge, thank you Heavenly Mommas not fixated on worldly things, but fixiated on LOVE.
A special shout-out to Sheila, the mother I nanny for, who was the main inspiration of this post. <3

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