God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Hopeful Road Ahead...

So today was a very busy day to me. Firstly, I had my first appointment with my new OB/GYN doctor. The wait until the appointment felt like it took forever, and sitting in the waiting room made the minutes tick by even slower.
After speaking with her assistant, and then speaking with her, my head is still swimming. Thinking of options, the emotional roller coaster I'm feeling, and even just how plain hungry I was! :) I think she's very good at her job; she answered all my questions. She put to rest my "what if's" and really took me step by step. She's slightly short, but I guess I'm not looking for a friend here... just someone to understand and MAKE ME A MOMMA! :)
So, how she explained it to me, is she sets you up on a 6mo. plan and as long as things go smoothly we carry on with the plan. If there is a snag along the way, we stop and regroup and re-direct "the plan" for a new set of about six months.

1) Blood tests. Check Rubella immunity, thyroid, and a few other blood tests to test for PCOS (Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome). If this is to be found, we stop and talk again. I will also be doing the 2 hour glucose tolerance test where I get to drink lots of ick and sit and be bored for two hours.
2) Semen analysis.
3) Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). This is where they inject dye into my fallopian tubes and watch to make sure it flows through and that my tubes are not blocked or obstructed. This will most likely give me intense cramping for 2 or more hours.
and, if we've made it to this point... it looks like in November-December will be...
4) Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)! My doctor is willing to do this for possibly 4 cycles (at MOST!) if everything seems to go well (but without pregnancy). This means possible pregnancy anytime from December-March! Believe it or not, a typical couple TTC has a 15%-20% chance of conceiving on any given month. With this, I will have a 10% chance of conceiving!

Hope. Hopeful is all I can say when I think of how I am feeling. Walter and I discussed it all pretty deeply tonight, and really decided to set boundaries on how far we will go. Yes, we would to have a child who "looks and acts like us" and I would love to be pregnant, but to be honest, I just don't feel called to invest large amounts of money and time into it. I would much rather adopt. We decided there is no way we will participate in surrogacy. However, we may be willing to do artificial insemination if the problem lies there. Pretty much after "the plan" above, if I'm not pregnant by March we're moving on. Yes, I'm dying to be pregnant! But, even more so, I'm dying to be a mother. Right now I'm spinning so many plates. Doctors appointments, foster care homework, being sick from medication, adoption networking... it would just be nice to set down some of the plates. I truly believe that if we have to hang up being biological parents, although a heartbreaking pill to swallow, that I will be able to grieve for a short while and have true peace with it.

Please pray for Walter and I. At this point, we have no idea what insurance will cover, but from what we've checked out do far... it doesn't look like much. :( These next few months are going to be extremely expensive for us. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm thinking of making and selling crafts to help fund. Would you be interested in buying a cute craft for a good cause? Please let me know.

On another note, tonight Walter and I went and spent time with Sarah and Mike's twin boys. I'm so in love with them already. SO adorable. It was nice. I think he was nervous at first, but really wanting to get familiar with new babies. I'm pretty sure he left pretty proud of himself. He was pretty awesome. :) Lord, thank You for this hope. I pray I can actually sleep tonight; I'm so very excited. I wish we could have started the process yesterday! :)


  1. Hi Jen,
    Found your blog on Facebook (thx for friending me...) Reading thru your posts brings back so many memories for me... Mike and I tried for 4 years (several "procedures", several round of medication, two major surgeries). Hope and prayers for you... we ended up with two wonderful kiddos and I'm hopeful you will too! You can email me any time. I've been where you are and it's tough. Wish I'd had a blog! : )

  2. he looks pretty comfortable to me! :)