God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free?

Have you ever heard of this expression? All the times I've heard it used it's been related to premarital sex, as in: Why get a wife (the cow) when you've already made love (the milk)?
No. I don't think premarital sex is God-honoring or is the right thing to do... but I also believe there comes a time [sometimes!] before the wedding day that you are already married in each other's hearts. I know I could be starting some arguments here, but hear me out... In biblical times did they have to sign a marriage license? Fill out all the paperwork? Wait for the blood tests to come in?
Now, before the preteen in all of us say, "Well, I thought I was in LOVE a thousand times before I met The One" and before the adults in us say, "That's just an excuse for bad behavior", let me clarify. No, just because you think you're in love means you should have sex. No, just because you're engaged doesn't mean it's time to get it on. However, Walter and I (as bias as I am) were different. While I lived out of state as a missionary, he funded everything for months. The day I returned he allowed me to move in with him in his bachelor pad while we immediately started looking for a home. We got engaged the very next day of my return. At this point, we already had joint banking accounts, and didn't make a decision without the other. (Heck, we even had matching tattoos! lol) We were fully and whole-heartedly pledged to one another- otherwise I'm not sure we would have made it to the wedding day! :) Just kidding! But in all seriousness, I knew Walter was the one. I had been in failed engagements before, and I knew this was for the long haul. 'Come What May' - we took from my favorite movie. Meaning, to us, NO MATTER WHAT.
Do I recommend living/sleeping together before marriage? ABSOLUTELY NOT. We went through a lot of trials and hardships I think we could have saved ourselves from otherwise. But would I change it at this point? No. I think God has blessed our marriage and our relationship, while we admittedly acknowledge our sin, and has taken our turmoil and produced a couple that can come to a solution faster than any couple I know (again, bias, but I'm pretty sure of it!).
I know my Lord loves me, because He gave me the perfect daily reminder of His love, by giving me a husband I adore. A husband who can deal with the chaos we're in better than no other. A man who doesn't pour the guilt on when we receive multiple medical bills a day addresses to a woman who doesn't have 'a job'. A man who makes me laugh, even when I feel like only Jesus Himself can pull me out of my darkness.

Thank you Poopy (yes, that is his nickname from me! lol) for enduring your pain AND my pain as if it were your own... and for loving the cow (me, overweight from all the trials), even when I can't give milk (a baby).

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