God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Boy or Girl?

Through years of infertility, there were easier times for us, and there were harder times. One of the hardest times I can think of what about a year into trying, when all of our friends were expecting their first babies. It seemed like everywhere we went, people were announcing. We were afraid to bump into friends, get on Facebook, or pretty much do anything that involved getting out of bed. By four years in of trying, friends were beginning to have their second (or third, or fourth!!!) babies and we were praying for IVF to work. IVF #1 gave us plenty of angels, but no baby for our arms. I wanted to give up. I wanted to crawl into bed again while another season of blossoming women danced around me. It hurt so badly to see their growing tummies. Walter told me I would regret it if we didn't try IVF again. He was right. So we did.

Now I'm a mommy with a (definitely!) growing tummy and I struggle on when to flaunt with pride and when to suck in with sensitivity. I pray that I'm making the right decisions daily.

I just got home from making reservations for our Gender Reveal party on November 12th.
The thought of soon knowing if we will have a little baby girl or a little baby boy makes me lose my breath for a minute. I've said if before, but I am so glad that I don't get to choose! I would never be able to make a decision.

I can see Walter being the protective daddy of a beautiful little girl with big brown eyes like him. I can imagine the bows, and the dresses, and the tea parties... I'm afraid to think of boyfriends, those scary teenager years, and the clothing fights. Walter dreams of daddy-daughter dates... but he says he'll never be ready for her to date either. We have a name picked out for her, and are ready to buy pink tutus and add lots of sparkle to the nursery.

I can imagine a little boy running around here, trying to ride the pups. He'll have lots of Walter's sandy hair and possibly my eyes. We'll make messes together, splash in mud puddles, and make fart jokes. Walter is excited because he'll 'know what to do with boys' and be 'less intimated' by diapering. Haha. I told Walter I'll take him on mommy-son dates... and he said it's best if I don't call them that. :) We'll go for a 'burger after practice'. I'm afraid of the energy boys can have, and how they soon outgrow hugs and kisses. We have a name picked out for him, and we're ready to fill the room with dinosaur toys (per Walter's request).

I've been keeping an eye on a few of my friends on Facebook who are pregnant right now to seem if there is a 'trend' in the genders right now.

So far my friend Liz, who has a girl, has announced she's having another (surely beautiful) girl!
My friend Katie, who already has an adorable little boy, announced he's going to have a baby brother!
My friend Erika, already with a little sweet girl in tow, is going to have another little girl for the other arm!
Elise, who has filled her family with a boy, and a girl, and another boy... is having another girl!
Leah, another good friend of mine, is now 39 weeks pregnant. Her husband, daughter, and her are anxious to see what the baby is! What a trooper to wait until finding out at birth!

So what will baby Wallheimer be?
It doesn't matter. He/she will be so loved and so long awaited.

We continue to pray everyday for those trying to conceive, but we have faith that with God on their side and a fierce determination they will soon find themselves in our place.
We pray for all the woman who are pregnant to have a smooth sailing and healthy pregnancy, because we know the alternative is painful.


  1. so exciting!! I sooo hope to be joining this "club" soon!! I think you are so thoughtful and sensitive and I'm so happy for you!! I can't wait to find out gender either! :)

    1. Thank you so much Holly! I pray for women TTC every day, and I know He is going to bless you with a baby. While it's painful now, He is preparing you and hubby for the child of your dreams. I promise.

  2. Thank you so much for giving me the link to your blog on IG. I feel like I will never be able to connect with enough people who are/have gone/successfully beat infertility. I am so thankful that you were able to overcome things and now finally can have this amazing experience. You truly deserve it and I'm sure you are enjoying every second of it. I will definitely say a prayer for you guys and for your little baby! I can't WAIT to find out what you're having!!

    Megan (from IG :))


    1. Thank you so much! You have a new follower as well! ;)
      I wish we could all look into a magic ball and know when our infertility journey will be over, because I feel like that was the worst part of infertility.
      But with a lot of prayer, strength, dedication, humility, patience... and so much more it WILL end for all women out there TTC... even if they can't hear that right now.
      Thank you so much for your kind words!