God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Thursday, October 18, 2012


I believe everyone struggles with insecurity. Some people struggle with being insecure about their appearance, some struggle with an insecurity about friendships, some people are insecure in their marriage... the world  gives us plenty of places to be insecure. 

I don't think I'm a supermodel or anything, but I've never cared too much about my looks. Sure, I have 'fat days' like everyone else... but I've always taken a 'take it or leave it approach' when it comes to looking good for others. This 'worsened' with marriage. My husband makes me feel secure and sexy in about everything... and I sometimes all-too-often 'reward' him with a T-shirt and no make-up. Sorry babe! 

However, lately I've felt insecure, and it's a different feeling for me.

I am by no means complaining, but as my tummy grows a whole list of questions come to mind and I wonder about them often. I wonder if I'm 'on track' with my weight gain. I constantly search Google for '_ week pregnancy pictures' to compare my belly with other mommas. Am I showing too soon? Is it baby or is it fat, really? I worry. 

I'm not a fan of the conflicting feelings I have.
One minute I want to post about my belly with pride. We finally did it!
And another minute I'm taking the photo down, worried someone will think I don't know what I'm doing, and that I look far too big to be just ___ weeks.

I'm losing weight eating right, but gaining tummy growing a baby and I think my mind and body are just confused. I really don't intend to complain, I'm just hoping I'm not the only one who has felt this way.


  1. Oh pregnancy dear pregnancy... (Obviously) never experienced it myself, but you sound like a pregnant woman! Remember, each person is different and each pregnancy is different, and comparing really just isn't fair to you.

    You are SO beautiful and at least so far, I've chalked you into that category of women who just SHINE during their pregnancy. Not sure if it's just that you're so very happy to have a little one on the way or what, but you are absolutely gorgeous and that baby bump brings tears to my eyes. Don't let the hormones bring you down!

    1. Thank you love, I've definitely trying to learn to just 'rock the bump' and not care. ;) You're a good friend.