God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Chewing Gum

After reading a fellow blogger's new post about her anger with people being insensitive about her infertility I left her a comment. It was a piece of advice a friend gave me long ago, and I think God just brought it right back to me for an affirmation.

I told her that no one would truly be able to understand her journey except God. Her husband and other women who have walked the infertile road may try and so will her mother (who the blog was about), but only God will understand every moment and feel every bit of pain and sadness.

I suggested she treat all the "relax" etc advice like chewing gum. When chewing bubble gum you take it in and chew until all the flavor runs out (these are the things that build your up, that you take as truth, that are said in love) and then, with whatever is left, you spit it out.

No one gets mad at chewing gum when the flavor runs out though right? :) It's cute and that obnoxious pink color that reminds you of simplistic times. It's not the chewing gum's fault that it ran out of flavor, it can't help it! It did all it could by holding in as much as it could, and it's just up to you to dispose of whatever is left after the flavor.

I just took the chewing gum analogy to a whole new level. :)

Anyways... this is how I've aimed to be with advice. When you're infertile, it comes in by the truckload... because honestly, how easy is it to get knocked up?! People do it ALL the time, and some people even do it by mistake! So anyone who has been pregnant, or has a friend/sister/mother (lol) that has been pregnant feels like they're an expert. In the beginning I tried all the advice... standing on your head, eating a teaspoon of cinnamon, 'not trying', going on a vacation, blah blah blah... and the advice keeps coming. It's impossible to do or try it all. Instead of getting frustrated, I just take advice like chewing gum.

So please, feel free to tell me your distant cousin got pregnant by using a special kind of lotion or by adapting to a special diet. I may try it out! However, please don't feel dissed if I spit the advice out...


  1. I like this!! Good perspective to have. There is just an over-abundance of "advice" because, like you said, everyone thinks they're the expert. I used to think I would find this advice annoying after I got pregnant, but now I'm finding that it comes at you even BEFORE you get pregnant! Might as well come up with a solution to deal with it now! :) Thanks for this.

  2. I don't have a special lotion..or a special diet. I have something that worked for ME. I read somewhere (and tried and succeeded), that after he..umm..finishes his business...you uhm....finish your business....and by..uhmmm..finishing your business, you're pulling all of his business "upwards/inside"....(Can you tell i'm trying to be discreet lol)
    I dont know if I uhm...finished my business too "hard"...but wouldn't you know, I got pregnant. With TWINS! lol. Guess my business pulled in his business so hard that it smacked that egg in half!! (my twins are identical)

    Oh, and I ate a lot of sweet potatoes. Something about sweet potatoes that raises the number of something lol

    :) Hope you don't spit out my advice (no pun intended lol)


  3. Thanks Stephanie and Chantal.

    Stephanie- I've learned my very best to dismiss advice the nicest way I can, and I know for sure it's something God wanted me to know before my motherhood began. I'm very opinionated, and I'm now learning sometimes it's just best to wait until you're asked (if you are!) Very hard thing to learn, but worth it if it saves me from hurting others!

    Chantal- Thank you very much. I'm glad that worked for you! Twins are awesome! My husband and I have tried what you speak of (I think, lol) in the very beginning but unfortunately for us it's not just about "pulling it in". Because I have PCOS I don't really ovulate, so there's nothing for the sperm to fertilize.
    Sweet potatoes are said to raise your progesterone levels and I take 2.5 inch shots in my back for that during IVF. Sweet potatoes would be much easier, if only it were proven and my doctor would allow it... even if I hate them. :)

  4. "I don't really ovulate" you didnt write "I NEVER ovulate" so don't ever ever ever give up. God has a plan.

    I know we don't know each other but I hope you know that I am truly pulling and praying for you.

    I look forward to the BFP post! :)


  5. Thank you.

    However... I DON'T ovulate. lol. I'm not sure when the last time was, but we're thinking it has been years... I just never knew it. I'm on medication to help, and I definitely try to have hope, but it is very unlikely.