God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

A Pregnant Infertile

I wanted to say something that was brought up to me today. Just because I'm pregnant now, does not mean I'm not still infertile. Thank God for the beautiful science of IVF or Walter and I may never have a baby! After this pregnancy, with a baby(ies) on my hip(s)... I'll still be infertile. It still took me over a year to get to where I am now. Hell, we've been technically 'trying' for over four! I still have PCOS, and I'll have it my entire life. I'm still without a tube. I still suffered. I'm still an infertile (not a club I'm thrilled to belong to, but I am)! I'm just pregnant right now.

So, that got me thinking... what's different about a 'pregnant infertile'? After cracking myself up in my car, I'd thought I'd share. Infertiles, let this give you hope. Preggos, let this give you perspective. 

#1. If you complain to your friends about your lack of morning sickness, weight gain, or other terrible symptom... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#2. If you're tempted to text a pregnant friend to ask her if every pain/poop/sneeze/hiccup is 'normal'... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#3. If you still continue to look for sales on pregnancy tests, even after blood work/ultrasound... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#4. If you have memorized the 'normal' HcG level ranges based on days past LMP... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#5. If you knew you were pregnant when your baby was the size of a poppyseed... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#6. If you have already picked out names, and a nursery theme, and dreamed about baby showers... and the only thing left is to dream how fat, sick, and miserable you're about to be (and with a smile on your face!)... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#7. If you've called your doctor to request extra blood work... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#8. If you've considered life with triplets and described it as 'fun and manageable'... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#9. If you are filling out paper work to adopt, while pregnant, in hopes of still adopting soon... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#10. If you count down your next ultrasound by hours... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#11. If you constantly Google symptoms and miscarriage rates... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#12. If you're browsing cribs, toys, and even maternity clothing at week six... you may be a pregnant infertile.

#13. If you thank God for every morning you wake up with sore breasts, if you praise Him every time you vomit, if you can't help but tear up when talking about your miracle from God... you may be a pregnant infertile.


  1. Thank you for this post! Seriously. I've been struggling with this very issue since finding out we are expecting. I'm 19 weeks now and it (infertility) still weighs heavy on my heart. I've done ALL 13 of your examples. LMAO. Good luck with your pregnancy. :)

  2. when I miscarried the first time someone told me that the best "cure" for my miscarriage was to successfully get pregnant again. that is so far from the truth - i love all my kids, those on earth and those in Heaven, with all my heart. i smile as i read this because I did lots of those things as well. hang in there girl, and enjoy your ultrasound!

  3. Thanks lovely ladies. Leah, you kind of said it perfectly... there is no 'cure' for infertility. Just because you have a child, or have gotten pregnant, or have adopted... doesn't mean the pain goes away forever. You feel so blessed by pregnancy (as all three of us are feeling I'm sure!) but you also don't want to feel like you've 'been there, done that'. It still hurts. I can't still be a help to my infertile friends. My past still makes me a crazy woman who is overly paranoid.
    I'm so glad God has blessed all three of us with a pregnancy, and hope we each can make it a daily effort for other infertile women (like us)!