God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Monday, March 12, 2012

My Angels

We are still in the two week wait, and today we got the call on the cryoperservation results on our remaining three embryos. They were what we had been preparing for.

Unfortunately our three remaining embryos did not survive.

What does this mean?
Well first, it means Walter and I have lost another three babies. Life begins at fertilization, and we will not take lightly the loss of the three embryos we had to leave behind. I know many think we are crazy, and I do not care. It has been a hard day.

Secondly, if Walter and I decided to do IVF again, we would have to start all over from the beginning. Many IVF couples freeze their remaining embryos to cut down on the pain, the time, and the cost of IVF. Our chances of that died along with the embryos.

Third, our chances for the embryos transferred have decreased. Nothing prayer and God can't fix, but the science is there.

I like to think of them as my babies' guardian angels. Already looking our for their 'strong' brothers or sisters.

My hope for the two, will not outweigh my grief for the three, yet I must move on and keep myself as strong as possible for the ones growing inside me.

They're with God and Gracie now.

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