God writes our story.
I am still learning to surrender the pen.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Infertile Marriage #1: Date Your Husband

I cannot stress 'dating' in marriage enough!

Walter and I began our Date Nights during our engagement, and to be honest, they started as "Please Don't Talk About the Wedding" nights. Walter got sick of hearing about wedding plans, and I got tired of the stress that came with them. So we began going out one night a week and NOT talking about the wedding. We enjoyed them so much, soon it wasn't hard to not talk about the wedding. We bought books to help us during the dry seasons, and we decided to stick with 'em after the big day as our Date Nights.

Now, don't get me wrong, Walter and I haven't been perfect at these! Some weeks he was out of town, or we had other plans, or we've just plain skipped a week. Having a regular Date Night is a learning process that isn't easy overnight, and especially isn't easy the more responsibilities you have (aka: children, etc). BUT I do promise that it is WORTH IT.

Walter and I have chose Wednesday nights at our Date Nights. Why?
-Because it is something to look forward during 'those' Mondays because it is close enough
-Because restaurants, movie theaters, etc are hardly slammed on Wednesday nights
-Because it makes your weekend start sooner :)
-Because we have found Wednesdays seem to be the least popular day for other events

Now, that doesn't mean that our Date Nights aren't romantic or are important. It means that with this choice decided, Walter and I are both able to know that we try to plan nothing on those nights no matter what. I can look forward to Wednesday as a relaxing evening out with my man. It's a night that I know the business of both of our lives will be left at the door, and we are able to act like children again. Some Date Nights we go to a dinner and a movie, like we did last night. Some nights we have a pizza and pj evening at home. Some nights we act like it is our first date all over again.

TIP: If you're trying to cut costs, Walter and I like to go to a nice restaurant (Bella Milano here) and share plates. I ordered a FANTASTIC salad ($8) and he ordered a delicious pasta dish ($11). Instead of a dinner date that would usually cost us $50 or above... this dinner costed us $25! Also, if you're not OCD... I think it's really romantic to eat close and share plates. The waitress never thinks we're cheap (I was also a waitress for 7 years), she thinks we're just so in love... and we are. :) Many people assume we're not married, but on one of our first dates. Which is something we take as a compliment... but LOVE to tell them we've been married for years. ;)

YES, there have been times I help Walter put on a tie and he goes to the car to drive around the block to 'pick me up' for our date. :) Yes, there have been nights where we have spent the evening in our pajamas, eating a pizza, and giving each other foot and back rubs. Yes, there have been nights where we have spent it in the bedroom... either sleeping or having sex. Yes, I said it. ;)

Now, for all you other couples out there... I completely understand life is busy! I get it, you have a lot of children! Date Night cannot always happen once a week, and I want you to know I am fully aware of that. BUT then it should happen every other week, OR AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH. No exceptions. Find a great babysitter. Heck, hire me as a cheap babysitter (haha!) and get out there! I understand it just seems impossible right now, but I PROMISE you it's not.

Show your spouse that he/she is more important than everyday life.


  1. Totally agree! Date night is one thing Nathan and I used to do that got put on the back burner as he came closer to graduation (and thesis writing!), I started working again, we were gearing up to move.... and I completely regret it. One more thing on the list of changes here in a month!!

  2. I'll be praying for it! I'm excited for your changes! It's hard to keep at it, but the BUSIEST times are the times we need it the most. It's often the first thing cut, and I've been guilty of it a lot too... but it's nice once you make it an 'absolute' which Walter and I are working to make it. No matter what... it's Date Night. lol No questioning.

  3. I wish my (ex)husband I and would have done that. It ended up killing us. We have 4 boys.

    Life got the best of our marriage. It's never too late to live happily ever after...right?



  4. Keeping your marriage 'alive' isn't easy, I know. I'm sorry your marriage ended, and I pray that you and he both have the best closure possible for your four boys. Keep looking to the Lord, and He will give you direction.