It was a bit of a emotional struggle, but also has definitely grown me. It's now official. Mosaic training is completed! I learned so much material, and am still learning as I read the manual over to refresh. Even more than knowledge, I know my heart is grown. There is far less judgement (I'd be lying if I said none!) to the woman who is thinking or has had an abortion. I can sympathize and begin to understand her pain. God gives us all trials, and because mine is a trial without does not mean that a trial with can be any less traumatic or teachable. I no longer want to scoff and glare... I want to help them.
Monday we sat and learned about the actual process of abortion. It was painful. Not only because it was hard to hear what was done to the babies, but what was done to these poor women! Most have no idea what they're getting into until it's too late.
One thing Kathy (their instructor) taught us to share with these women were that their babies were literally "one in a million". Out of a million sperm, that could have made a million different babies... this one sperm and one egg came together to make this baby. This baby can never, EVER be recreated. Sure, these women may be able to get pregnant again (if their bodies are lucky to fight the scaring an abortion can create) but this baby will never be again. Such a beautiful thing. Mothers, think of that with your children. Could you imagine having different children? ONE in a MILLION.
Beautiful... and also sad. It made me realize that even if I am able to get pregnant again, that I have (at least) six beautiful babies that are gone and will never, ever be able to be recreated. Each one of them are so special.
Not a day goes by I don't think of them. I've wondered if I should name the other five. A lot of the women I've talked to with miscarriages choose to not name their miscarried children, but I've been thinking about it and really like the idea. If I'm going to tell everyone that I believe in life at conception and that they are children... why wouldn't I name them?
What do you think?